As I serve in ministry trying to help people to live the best life that they possibly can through Christ, one of the challenges that I have found facing many is the question of how to manage life while experiencing a miserable marriage. I'll admit that living in a hostile environment can have a way of sapping the enthusiasm out of you like joining the positive and negative posts of a car battery but I'd like to submit to you that there are ways to rise above any circumstance. When we think of experiencing "New Life" we tend to think that we'll attain a position in life where all of the hang-ups, and frustrations of our lives will be removed and as such our life will be made new but this is not entirely the case. When we experience new life in Christ on some occasions the frustrations that we experienced before will not change at all but we will change how respond to those frustrations because we will be new. We will have a new attitude, a new demeanor, a new way of handling the things that used to destroy our days, months and years.
As you embark on transforming your life let me suggest that you keep the focus where it needs to be...on God.If you're experiencing a particulary difficult marriage you must remember that your actions are not determined by another person so if your spouse is quarlsome that doesn't give you the right to be quarlsome as well; both will have to stand before God and give an account for their actions so be sure that you don't let your anger, frustration or resentment cause you to focus more on your spouse than you do on God. That, my friend, is idolotry (perhaps "spousiolotry?") and it should not have any place in your new life. if you put things into the proper perspective (God=> spouse=> etc) you will find that although you may be living in a miserable marriage you have the peace and grace to fulfil your purpose even in the midst of difficulty because the bible says that God will keep you in perfect peace if you keep your mind on Him. If you are living without peace, chances are you've stopped focusing on how mighty God is and have begun to focus on how miserable your marriage is.
A marriage is a life-time commitment of fidelity and trust so you must discard any thoughts of divorce or infidelity. Instead, choose to put the marriage where it needs to be... beneath the throne of God. Pray about it and practice your faith in it but DO NOT allow it to be the primary focus of your life. This was not God's intention or design for marriage and if you take it out of this context you are expecting marriage to serve a purpose for which it was not designed. You will not be judged by how your spouse treated you, you will not be judges by how happy you kept them in all situations, the only question that is of any consequence is, "Have you kept your oath of commitment?" Have you protected them? Have you honored them? Have you kept yourself only to them? If so, congrats on a job well done. You may be miserable for the moment but if you'll keep God as the priority and practice your faith in the relationship whether or not they reciprocate or are satisfied you have kept your end of the bargain and I believe that the peace of God can cover your heart as nothing else can. This will help you to avoid the pit of depression and help you to soar toward success even when you lack the support of a loving spouse. That way if God changes their heart and things improve you'll accept the blessing with humble gratitude but if this does not occur you will not have forfeited your destiny based on your feelings because you will have learned how to manage life in a miserable marriage focusing on the faithfulness of your maker. Say amen church!-Amen
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